I am writing you this letter, because I think its important for you to understand the expectations of the role you will be fulfilling, and I don't want you to go into this whole Manfriend Girlfriend thing blindly ya know? I recently got out of a serious relationship in which I do not have that much to complain about, and the things i Do have to complain about, well I'm not gonna tell you duh. With that said the bar is set pretty high so I just wanna lay out some of the ground rules so we don't have any of that "you doing things that really annoy me but i have to say it annoys me in a nice way" or any of the "Me wishing you brought more to the table".
Here are some of the things that I would like you to have in your resume
-Will refer to me as your "Manfriend"
-An affinity for sexy underwear
-You can make a cake and/or french toast (mmmm)
-You do not mind being naked (i dont have time to deal with a non confident girl)
-You have your own taste in music but will listen to mine in the car
-you dont touch my ipod when im driving
-you would give roadhead but would also be aware of the dangers and would remind me of them before you began
-Like to spontaneously dance and/or sing
-Will show me your boobs on command
-Anal. Duh.
-Likes to dress up fancy and go out nice places
-Knows who Phil Jackson, Rich Rodriguez are
-Will be willing to listen to me rant about Urban Meyer
-Is constantly impressed when I try to posture like I read books all the time
-Will watch Independance day without complaining
-Can keep me on my toes with witty comments, sexual references and pop culture jokes
-Will play Yes And with me in stores
-Is ok with having sex in public
-Is ok with having sex in other peoples beds
-Is ok with having sex on the floor
-Will be dedicated and ambitious to her schooling
-Will have crushes on celebrities/be ok wiht me having crushes on celebrities
-the Term fingerbang will apply
-Is ok with me giving your parents nicknames
-Has a friend or 2 that I can give nicknames to
-Has one really slutty friend that is fun to hang out with
-Wants to see Craigs sex tape as bad as I do
-Can hold your liquor
-Sometimes doesnt wear bras
-Is ok with facials
-Knows who Mark Cuban, Polly Pocket and Marlo Stanfield are
-has interesting childhood stories
-Will buy really good presents (like fun interesting presents not sweaters or flasks from russia)
-Will Sleep naked
-Will fetch me things like Wendys, Apples and Milkshakes
-Will watch Sportscenter and other sports related things
-Finds the story about the guy at the airport funny
Ok I hope this list finds you well, soon I will be back to post the things that you Cannot do if you want me to be your Manfriend.
xoxo
R.
