Ello Poppett. So its Friday and I have nothing to do except contemplate life and the mysteries that come with it. I might go out with Adeige11 and wbackman tonight, maybe Tidal wave or maybe Cheryl but until then I will be writing in here. UPDATE: Apparently im going to a swim meet.
So anyway, I've been thinking about the Twilight series which I have not read because it sounds kinda gay but that led me to think about Harry Potter, and how much time I spent reading about his adventures and STupid Mistakes. I've decided to summarize the books here that way no one has to read them everr again.
Book 1: Harry Potter and the Magic Rock: Harry sleeps under the stairs in a lil room and I don't understand why he didnt just run away or call British Child Services or something. Then he gets infinity chain letters from Dumbledore which say COME TO HOGWARTS WE HAVE BUTTER BEER AND MOVING STAIRS!! (my favorite part was the changing ceilings tho having ghosts in the house would be fun too, one time I saw a ghost but thats a story for another day.) That was enough for Mr. Dudley to move the family, and then Hagrid showed up and shook the house. At this point Harry should have realized he was in for biggg trouble when a Giant shows up at the house with an umbrella. Then stuff happens at Hogwarts like Hermonie and Ron (who has red hair and would never be able to hit i with Emma watson) have sexual tension but Ron is a non closer. They also meet the greatest magician of all time Dumbledore who takes an extreme interest in Harry because apparently everyone in Magic World has a fetish for scars (and as we learn in a later book is interested in working on other peoples wands hint hint). We also meet Snape who turns out to be the creepiest teacher EVER, like Ms Hibbard but the worst. His issue stems from a bad hair cut and lack of extra curricular activities in high school. Its always important to have extra curriculars. Then some professor wearing a turban turns out to be a sneakster for Voldemort and Harry potter is the only one who is smart enough to say "HEY everyone! Lets check this guys Turban!" Oh Also! There was a magic Mirror which showed everyone exactly what they wanted (Dumbeldore wanted a new pair of socks mmmm socks) But like obviously JK Rawly was never a 7th grade boy because if I looked in the mirror as a 7th grade boy i would have been kissing a girl because in 7th grade thats pretty much All I thought about. Anyway Harry Potter saved the day by saying Expecto Protronum and there was much Butter Beer for everyone until the next book. Oh also, Dumbledore always ends every book with like a creepy 3 hour talk with Harry alone. Discussing all the things that have happened but meanwhile just fantazising about his scar obviously. Dumbledore is all about these fireside chats but if he had read YMCA protocal he would know that you are Never supposed to be alone 1 on 1 with a child because if they call rape then you are mad guilty.
PS it is hear that I also discovered that in the movie the spells shooting out of wands look like mad orgasm
Book 2: Harry Potter goes into the Girls Shower. Ok So it was about this time when I thought that maybe Harry Potter was a bit of a narcissict. It always seemed to me that Everything is always about him, and Ron is like his enabler. Like Harrys all like Am I good at broomstick soccer? and Rons all like Harry Youre the best! Meanwhile Hermonie is all I want to go to Ivy League Wizardy School so she does allllll her homework while Ron is all trying to phingerbang her in the Wizardy Library. All this sexual tension in Hogwarts causes Ginny Weasley(Rons hot lil sister) to feel very uncomfortable so she begins to write in a diary. This diary turns out to be a Trick diary because it writes back, us experienced diary writers know that only on the rarest occasions do diaries actually respond. So anyway people start getting stolen and some girl gets paralyzed by a big snake because the snakes eyes are very scary. Sooooooo Harry, being focused on getting himself all the attention decided to figure out where the Chamber of Secret is. He discovers this because for fun Harry Potter goes to the Nice girls bathroom with an awesome shower late at night. There he hangs out with a ghost nicknamed Moaning Myrtle. Are you joking JK? Harry Is going to the Girls bathroom late at night and hanging out with someone Known for their Moaning? Anyway. (Weird sexual things are a theme in harry potter.) Harry Potter gets Into the chamber of Secret (um euphamism much?) with his trusty side kicks. In there he battles a huge 1 eyed Snake (um euphamism much?) to save Ginny "Ill Snog Harry through out books 6-7" Weasley. All is right in the wizardy world after the snake has been slain but I have a feeling that something bad happens at least 4 or 5 more times.
"YOull never know LOVE or FRIENDSHIP and I feel Sorry for you!"-Harry 'mad corny' Potter
Anyway, I have to go work out but I'll do other books later because I'm sure I'll be bored. Its been real.
Pixies beeping I gotta go.
xoxo
R.
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