Its been a very sad few days and basically I have thought of 2 strategies to cope with it. 1. Drinking chocolate milk every time Im sad and 2.Write out a list of all the things that I will remember and miss about our relationship. What follows is this list, maybe you'll miss some of these things too, maybe you'll want some of them back but if it fails there is always chocolate milk.
I remember WEARING THE PANTS.
I remember the cab ride home from the Brazilian Resteraunt, where you wore the tight black dress and had a little bit of a glow as you grabbed my thigh in the backseat while talking about the cute circle bread.
I remember going to Morton Williams in the freezing cold to get candy and beer and then come back and play drinking games and listen to Girl Talk
I remember waking up in the morning after a lousy night sleep because I was bullied all night and never feeling better
I remember kissing and feeling that this moment was perfect until you said something totally irrelevant but totally cute.
I remember when you would get upset and I could tell you were crying online
I remember the map you drew me on the postcard.
I remember beating you to the tree
I remember staying up late on the phone to discuss world views and politics for 3 1/2 hours
I remember getting you a glass of water after we banged during winter break as you fell asleep on the couch
I remember all the online conversations that would begin with HIIII and end with YAYAYA
I remember HATTI
I remember you wanting to see my journal (I'd show you now.)
I remember not being able to get off the phone each night because we said bye 32 times.
I remember your DO NOT TICKLE ME face
I remember when you touched the ceiling and then rassled me
I remember when we wandered around by NYU and decided to spoil dinner with Ice cream
I remember when you Imed me for the first time in Europe and said HEY STRAWBERRY
I remember cute fist
I remember your face when I gave you your valentines day card
I remember watching Pam and Jim with you
I remember trying to convince you to name our kid Voldemort. You liked Julian
I remember when you made me put my big wad of cash in the bank
I remember when you saw the Possum and loved it even tho it was really gross
I remember listening to The National and kissing you each night before I dropped you off
I remember trying to push you Into the River and excellent breakfast and the capybaras
I remember when we drove home spontaneously at 2 Am from NYC and talked about life and death and how I never felt closer to anyone
I remember when the waiter asked us if we were married
I remember size 32 waist
I remember you loving Vince Carter
I remember helping you pick out posters
I remember Maggie, and walking along to the delaware river and making out in moonlight
I remember No bra in the cubby but shoes are a must
I remember when you bought that thong for valentines day but only wore it once, instead opting for big underwear
I remember when you came in and wanted to hook up at Cheryls beach house but I fell asleep
I remember falling asleep when were locked in at Cheryls house in the 200 degree room
I remember show Ryan your boobs day on the calender
I remember Doutzen Kroes and Marat Safin being soooo dreamy
I remember having to Take you to Nature
I remember how you liked using caps lock
I remember having to talk about the enviornment Alottttt
I remember how much I love you
Whether we get back together now, or later, or now and break up again in 2 days, or never even talk again, I want you to know how great you are and how I had so much fun at your side. I hope you'll realize that what we had was extremely rare and special but if you don't come back I want you to find happiness, no matter what. I'll be just fine as long as you do what makes you happy.
Whenever I miss you, I will think of all the dresses you are going to wear. And how you will look so beautiful in every single one.
R.A.H.
